As always, I took a peek at the name badge of the girl serving me. This practice often coughs up unexpected gems – most recently a woman called ‘Ute’, I kid you not – and today was no exception.
The girl’s name, apparently, was:
“Oops, I forgot my name badge!”
Those were the actual words printed on her badge.
Stuff penalty rates, overtime and casual workers – if our industrial relations laws don’t ban this sort of passive-aggressive humiliation of lowly employees, something has gone horribly wrong.
I can just see some over-enthusiastic team-leader type* smiling smugly and saying:
[Passive]: “Did we forget our name badge today? We all know what happens to staff members who forget their name badges, don’t we?”
[Aggressive]: “GET THE ‘NO NAME’ NAME BADGE!”
I started wondering if they have name badges for other offences…
Late: I was late to work today. Spank me.
Stealing food: I ate all the pies.
Then I started wondering: if employers can put snide comments on name badges, what would happen if employees everywhere could write their own name badges…
- Don’t ask, I don’t know.
- You’re right – I don’t care.
- I spat in your food.
- I’m drunk.
The possibilities are endless. Still, SHAME ON YOU BAKER’S DELIGHT…or Brumbys, or whatever your stupid bakery is called.
*I have two characters in mind here. Firstly, ‘Evan’ (played by Simon Pegg) the psychotic manager of Goliath books in the brilliant Black Books. Secondly, the guy in the movie Office Space who demands ‘more flair’ from Jennifer Aniston. A better demand might have been ‘more talent’.