How to Bushify your speech

There has been plenty of webspace filled with critiques and parodies of George Bush’s particular brand of speech. In actual fact, his penchant for adding a suffix to anything – thus generating verbs from nouns, or longer verbs from shorter verbs – is starting to take hold. I was mid-yawn during a phone conference the other day when someone said they wanted to ‘manualise’ something. Wouldn’t it be easier to just create / write / produce / other verb a manual?

Still, here is my Guide to Bushifying Your Speech. Suitably, I have used excerpts from George Bush’s 2007 State of the Union Address to demonstrate the point. The first version is the one that Dubya and I would have put together. The second version is the original speech, carefully shaped by a speechwriter with no sense of fun.

To play, all you need is your best George Bush impersonation and the following useful suffixes:

  • alise / lise
  • ification
  • ify / ified / ifies
  • isation

“We’re carrying out a new strategy in Iraq — a plan that demandifies more from Iraq’s elected government, and gives our forces in Iraq the reinforcementisation that they need to complete their mission.

In order to make progressifcation toward this goal, the Iraqi government must stop the sectarian violence in its capital. But the Iraqis are not yet ready to do this on their own. So we have deployified reinforcements of more than 20,000 additional soldiers and Marines to Iraq. The vast majority will go to Baghdad, where they will help Iraqi forces clearify and securitise neighbourhoods, and serve as advisers embeddified in Iraqi Army units.

With Iraqis in the lead, our forces will help with the securification of the city by chasing down the terrorists, insurgents, and the roaming death squads. And in Anbar Province, where al Qaeda terrorists have gathered and local forces have begun showing a willingness to fight them, we’re sending an additional 4,000 United States Marines, with orders to find the terrorists and engage in a process of confrontification.”

I’m sure you’ll agree that was more fun than the dull original: 

“We’re carrying out a new strategy in Iraq — a plan that demands more from Iraq’s elected government, and gives our forces in Iraq the reinforcements they need to complete their mission.

In order to make progress toward this goal, the Iraqi government must stop the sectarian violence in its capital. But the Iraqis are not yet ready to do this on their own. So we’re deploying reinforcements of more than 20,000 additional soldiers and Marines to Iraq. The vast majority will go to Baghdad, where they will help Iraqi forces to clear and secure neighborhoods, and serve as advisers embedded in Iraqi Army units.

With Iraqis in the lead, our forces will help secure the city by chasing down the terrorists, insurgents, and the roaming death squads. And in Anbar Province, where al Qaeda terrorists have gathered and local forces have begun showing a willingness to fight them, we’re sending an additional 4,000 United States Marines, with orders to find the terrorists and clear them out.”
 
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