Hitler, Stalin and Human Nature

If you thought this was going to be a treatise on the nature of evil, you’re right – in a manner of speaking.

I hate, with a deep, deep passion, Human Nature. For non-Australian visitors, Human Nature is the sappiest, tackiest, cheesiest, most vomit-inducing boy band ever to be recorded. I would dearly like to stab them. Or at least give them a chinese burn, or tie their shoelaces together. Just have a look at them to start with, then we will examine some of the nuances, the details of my hatred of the boyband Human Nature.

Human Nature Wankers

Compare that photo with the fictional piss-take boy band, Boytown

Boytown

I just can’t imagine where Mick Molloy took his inspiration from. Axle Whitehead actually introduced Human Nature as ‘Boytown’ at the ARIAS last year, which was far funnier than when he got his old fella out later in the night.

This is how they look now, 18 years after they started…

Mowtown Human Nature are still wankers

They have swapped the faux street wear they bought from Target for matching polyester suits and dreadful, dreadful dance moves. Look at the guys in the background doing their ‘Oh, Lordy, Lordy!’ hand shakes. Does it not make you want to rip your own eyeballs out (Aaagh, it BURNS!!)? They have ripped the heart and soul out of Motown classics. They have vanillafied Wilson Pickett, Stevie Wonder and Diana Ross with covers so watered down that dysentry is a better description than shit.  If only they realised what jokes their lives were it would almost be okay, but they genuinely believe their own publicity.

Look at this one – he is the most annoying:

The annoying one

How can such a little man have so many ridiculously large features? It’s like only his hair, forehead, ears and mouth have gigantism while the rest of him has dwarfism. For some people big is beautiful, but there’s no excusing this sort of ugly. I also suspect he is the ringleader, driving his band to new heights of cheese. He has to go.

But the kicker, the thing that really shits me, is that they are making a BLOODY FORTUNE. In the lead-up to every Christmas and Mothers’ Day they repackage the same tired songs, and people buy it! People of Australia, STOP ENCOURAGING THEM! I implore you. Your mum is going to chuck that CD straight in the bin when you leave. Buy her a slab so she can drink it and forget she ever heard a band that makes money on the side singing at sieges in order to flush out gunmen and hostages alike.

Don’t even get me started on the Lite Erotica fan fiction that people put up in the forum at their website. Seek help. Seriously. I’ve got money that one of the boys from the band is the forum ‘moderator’ – there is no other explanation for how that stuff is still up there.

Part of me wants to believe that they cry themselves to sleep at night. But people like Human Nature have no sense of right and wrong. They are evil, and an appointment at the International Criminal Court at the Hague awaits them for crimes against humanity.

Right, I’m off. I’ve gotta work out how to get this post into the Human Nature forum.

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6 thoughts on “Hitler, Stalin and Human Nature

  1. EM says:

    Human Nature is a brown stain on the eyes and ears of all Australians, nay all humanity. I think the napisan guy should dowse them all in a bucket and clean away this giant skidmark on the underpants of the world.

    I truly wish I hadn’t clicked on that link to their fansite now. It is creepy and wrong!

    • Anonymous says:

      you go to hell mate

      you can not even say who it is that saying things about the men
      I can not say any more to you as I am disappointed
      in what you have said
      I love these men

  2. Human Nature Fan says:

    YOU ARE A JERK!
    JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY MUSICAL TALENT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON THEM.
    GROW UP YOU SAD PATHETIC PERSON!
    I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL
    DIE ASS HOLE
    THEY HAVE BROUGHT BACK GREAT MOTOWN CLASSICS FOR THOSE OF US WITH AN APPRECIATION FOR GOOD MUSIC TO ENJOY. (CLEARLY YOU WOULDN’T RECOGNISE TALENT IF IT BIT YOU ON THE ARSE!)

  3. AW says:

    I too wish that the HN links in your blogwere disabled .. i couldn’t stop myself clicking through & reading the Lite Erotic Fan Fiction. My uterus has since prolapsed & splashing balsamic in my eyes has not erased images nor words from my poor burnt retinas. Wow that was truly a walk into another world. Further proof that our mental health system is in worse shape, than i had believed possible.

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