Dissecting Grey’s Anatomy

My Excellent Missus loves Grey’s Anatomy. The title is an incredibly witty wordplay, as Gray’s Anatomy is both a classic anatomical text book and the name of the main character, Meredith Grey, who works as a surgeon in a hospital. It works on so many levels! How clever! Some writer went home from that brainstorm with an incredibly smug look on their face.

Clearly they’ve offered nothing since.

I look over the top of the newspaper every now and then and tune into the alternate universe that is Grey’s Anatomy.

I get that it is not real, and I get that it’s escapism, but I just find myself saying ‘Oh that is just BULLSHIT’ too often when I watch this show.

The most glaring example is when that blonde one (Izzy Stephens apparently) cut the life support to a heart patient she was in love with in order to push him up the list of people to be operated on:

HEAD OF HOSPITAL: “Err, Miss Stephens, I’ve referred this matter to the Medical Practioners’ Board, who will be undertaking a comprehensive investigation. I imagine you’ll also be facing criminal charges. I don’t have enough fingers to count the laws you’ve broken, and I’ve got six fingers on my right hand…you’re going to jail for a long time.”

IZZY STEPHENS: “Umm, well, I’ve really screwed up.”

NO, NO, NO.

That’s not how it works in ‘Grey’s World’. Here (roughly) is what actually happened on the show…

HEAD OF HOSPITAL: “Izzy, what you did was irresponsible. Everyone in the hospital knows that you tried to kill a bloke to get him up the list for a new heart. Ordinary effort. But dammit, the world needs surgeons like you. You can come back, but the punishment for taking a man’s life is that you must watch the other doctors for 3-4 episodes. Oh, and here is 8 MILLION DOLLARS that the dead bloke left to you. Spend it however you want.”

PLEASE, don’t make me suspend reality so heavily. I know when I tune into a show like ‘Heroes’ or ‘Supernatural’ that the rules don’t apply, but you can’t bend them that far on a medical drama.

Another example. Some woman’s blood mixes with her asthma medication or something. Her blood becomes toxic to breathe, resulting in doctors dropping like flies (Err…). But only for an hour or so until they get some oxygen (Oh-kay…). But how to operate on this woman before she dies? What to do, what to do….

HEAD OF HOSPITAL: “Seal off the operating room. Get out the contamination suits. Call the fire brigade and ask them to bring breathing apparatus. Go to a scuba shop and borrow some scuba gear. Then we’ll finish off the surgery in an orderly fashion.”

NO, NO, NO! Logic has no place here. (Paraphrased), this is what actually transpired…

HEAD OF HOSPITAL: “What? We’re the biggest f***ing hospital in Seattle, but we don’t have any oxygen? And we only have two anti-contamination suits! And the entire ambulance and fire brigade have gone to party at a gay bar in Mexico? And scuba diving is now illegal! There’s nothing for it – we’ll have to operate in 20 second shifts, rotating in and out of the operating theatre!! It’s the obvious choice.”

There is not even an internal logic to this show. These are only two examples of many that stop from enjoying what should be an inoccuous medical drama.

My verdict: McSTUPID

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4 thoughts on “Dissecting Grey’s Anatomy

  1. Tony T. says:

    If the whiny voice-over that garnishes the bucket of shit that is GA isn’t enough to make you scream in pain, then the whiny chick rock soundtrack will.

    Play it backwards and you’ll find it says “kill us all, we all deserve to die” over and over.

  2. Nick says:

    Love the headline – “Dissecting Grey’s Anatomy” – nearly as clever as the title of the show itself! Your subbie is really earning his/her keep. I do feel though he let him(her)self down with the baldness cure – surely “Hair today, gone tomorrow” was the obvious choice.

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