I have noticed that people who man helpdesks usually have titles like “Systems Analyst” or “Network Engineer”, but their actual qualification is that they once turned on a computer (it was a Commodore 64).
IT helpdesks frustrate the hell out of me, wherever I work. How is it that the people in charge of the technology are the slowest adopters of new stuff? There
is nothing are only a few things more annoying than watching your service calls logged into the ether, never to be heard from again. Here, for your enjoyment, are the Top 8 most common solutions offered by IT helpdesks:
- Switch it off and switch it back on again
- Turn your computer off at the powerpoint
- Turn off your computer for at least five seconds
- The server is down
- I’ll reset your password
- I’ll log a call and get our network engineers to have a look at it [in a month or so]
The thing that kills me is most of the time I know what the problem is, I just don’t have the permission to fix it. Example:
ME: “I need to upgrade Acrobat reader [to 6.0.1] in order to read this pdf.”
GUY WHO ONCE TURNED ON A COMPUTER: “Aah, you don’t have the right permission to do that.”
ME: “Yeah, I know – can you please do it for me?”
GUY WHO ONCE TURNED ON A COMPUTER: “Ummm, I’ll log a call and get our network engineers to have a look at it. In the meantime, can I reset your password for you?”
There is only one IT helpdesk person I like – Mary. She’s as hopeless as the rest, but she’s really sweet. She lulls you into thinking she is fixing it, she uses a soothing tone, and like one of those ancient sirens, you wake up with the phone back in its cradle, and your computer still busted. TRICKERY!