Dud competition

When I was about 14, I won a cassingle of “Let’s talk about sex”, by Salt ‘n’ Pepper. My mum took it off me because she thought it was inappropriate. She bought me a Tattslotto ticket as a consolation. That ticket went on to lose, but I learnt a lesson that day – don’t tell your mum when you win competitions.

However, even my experience doesn’t compare to the poor old French President Nicolas Sarkozy. According to the BBC, he has just won a ‘mandate for reform‘. Break out the party poppers everyone, I just won a mandate.

I wonder who he won it from? I like to think it was someone like the MS Society. Imagine the call:

MS: Hello, is this President Sarkozy?

Prez: Oui.

MS: Remember that raffle you entered at Southpoint a little while ago to raise money for the MS foundation? The first prize was a BMW Z3…

Prez: I won le Z3? Hawhawhaw (French laugh)

MS: Ummm, not exactly. You won second prize, which is a mandate for reform.

Prez: I…it’s just…really?…I mean, what do I do with that? Is there not a hamper or something I can have? A Salt ‘n’ Pepper cassingle or something? Sacre Bleu!

Sorry, that was just silly. Everyone knows that no-one ever wins those MS raffles.

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