Smarter, stronger, better looking

Study Says Eldest Children Have Higher I.Q.s

“Scientists” (and everyone knows that scientists know everything) have discovered beyond a doubt that eldest siblings are the smartest in a family. As an eldest – and therefore smartest – sibling, I already knew this. I am also betterer looking than my siblings, and I am also strongerer.

My little brother ain’t very little anymore, but I bet if I took a shot at him, he would do the same thing he did when he was seven: drop a fart so nasty the Kyoto protocol would have to be rewritten. This is the sole advantage that younger siblings have over their smarter older brothers and sisters.

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