In a repeat of events in the lead up to the 2001 election the Liberal government can ill afford, 13 refugees have been found hiding in John Howard’s eyebrows.
The refugees are believed to have been hiding in Howard’s eyebrows for up to 5 days, and were only discovered after Janette returned from holidays and resumed her daily combing duties.
However the refugees are refusing to leave, triggering a legislative crisis as constitutional lawyers scramble to establish whether Howard’s eyebrows are excised territories or ‘mainland Australia’.
“Obviously it is a very tense situation at the moment,” said a spokesperson from the Prime Minister’s office. “They are very firmly entwined and the eyebrow hair is quite thick. The last thing we want at the moment is for the world’s attention to be focused on the Prime Minister’s eyebrows.”
Lawyers believe the greatest risk is that the refugees will comandeer Howard as they are alleged to have done to the captain of the Tampa in 2001.
If such a scenario were played out, the armed forces would be forced to divert the Prime Minister from Christmas Island to Nauru. Another option may be to make him tread water, in the hope that the refugees would be ‘flushed out’.
The Prime Minister is believed to be in good spirits despite the heavy toll on his eyebrows.