Great news! I’ve been sledged by a Human Nature fan for my previous diatribe against said band:
Why is this great news? Well, I get to methodically deconstruct an incoherent and indefensible rant, while simultaneously laying the boot into Human Nature – again!
The Excellent Missus just came in and read the comment and said, “Oh, that is really sad, I feel really sorry for that person.”
To which I replied, “Yes, I feel sorry for them too. I also feel compelled to mock them.”
Let’s examine what Human Nature Fan (HNF from here on) has to say:
You are a jerk – true, I concede this point.
Just because you don’t have any musical talent doesn’t mean you have to take it out on them – I don’t, and it does. But you don’t have to have musical talent to recognise that Human Nature have flies on them.
Grow up, you sad, pathetic person (punctuation mine) – No matter how sad or pathetic my life may be, at least I don’t have the shame of being a Human Nature fan. And at least I don’t go online defending my own crappy band under the unimaginative monkiker “Human Nature Fan” – yeah, I know it’s you Phil. It’s 10 minutes until you go onstage at the Ferntree Gully Hotel to have beer bottles thrown at you, and you’re on the internet trying to mount a defence of the bleach you call music. Pathetic.
I hope you rot in Hell. Die Ass Hole. – I have bundled these two together, because they effectively have the same sentiment, ie, I reckon you’re an average bloke and I wouldn’t be particularly fussed if you stopped breathing. But can I just say, HNF, that if I do rot in hell, Human Nature will be there in matching devil outfits singing ‘What’s Going On’. And as I rot I’ll say, fellas, what’s going on is that you’re in hell, because your music is shit.
They have brought back great Motown classics for those of us with an appreciation for good music to enjoy – this statement is the most stupid of them all. Listen to yourself – they are GREAT and they are CLASSICS, meaning there was nothing wrong with them! And bringing them back? They didn’t go anywhere! Hmmm, let’s see would I prefer to have ‘What’s Going On’ performed by Marvin Gaye or Human f****ing Nature? You know the answer.
You wouldn’t know talent if it bit you on the arse – if a Human Nature album bit me on the arse, I’d go to the doctor and get my rabies shots, because all Human Nature albums are dogs.
I’m gonna stop taunting you now, HNF, because you are simple. Go back to writing lite erotic fan fiction.
ps. you might be wondering about the vehemence of my response here. Let’s just say that I was emboldened by the fact that I was responding to a Human Nature fan and not a Megadeth fan.