Irony. I think.

This is an awesome story. I’ve lost track of what irony means anymore, but I think this might be it. That, or it’s just funny.

Russian authorities have urged 28 members of a doomsday cult to leave the mud bunker in which they are awaiting the end of the world, saying spring rain may trigger its collapse at any time.

I presume that by “its collapse” the journo means the bunker, and not the world.

And what happens if they leave? I reckon God might turn around and say, “Ummm, sorry you lot, but get back in there. You’re actually right, this is the apocalypse, I just decided to start with the mud bunker you were in. And then do the rest of the world in a couple of thousand years. You know, take my time with it. Rotten luck, awfully sorry about that.”

There must be some cult members really tying themselves in knots trying to figure out what it all means.

I like cult leaders. They have a great knack for wriggling out of the menial stuff:

Cult member: C’mon O’ Great Leader, time for us to all do the dishes, as has been prophesised.

Cult leader: Uuummmm….yeah, you make a start on that. I…I just had a message from God. He said that I should go and sleep with one…wait, I mean two…of the women while you do the dishes. Oh, and he has also foretold that you should nick down to the shops and pick me up a slab of beers. Cheers.

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