Thousands of patriotic Chinese protesters defended the Olympic torch and intimidated Tibetan protesters in Canberra today, proving once and for all that China has nothing to hide.
“I was very proud of the Chinese protesters here today,” said organiser Ji Xue. “We really managed to drown out the pro-Tibetan protesters and suppress their opinions using violence and intimidation. In no way is that ironic.”
In another twist, the Chinese protesters have now been placed on a Chinese Government black list.
“These people have clearly showed a disposition towards agitation, and a willingness to participate in democratic activities such as protesting. Imagine if they did that in China – we’d have to arrest them,” Ministry of National Security spokesman Ling Wong.
In related news, ACT Chief Minister John Stanhope has been hailed as a top bloke after telling a somewhat confused international media contingent that despite tensions, the torch relay “didn’t go to custard.”