Real estate advertising

The Excellent Missus and I are trying to get into the property market – and we’re getting smashed. I know I’m stating the obvious, but the real estate advertising is rubbish. Anyway, I thought I’d have a go at describing a place we might actually be able to afford. But then I remembered we can’t afford anything, hence the price tag below.

This one won’t last long – literally!

Asbestos and concrete are tastefully combined in this delightful two-bedroom chipboard unit.

The spacious courtyard gives plenty of space for the kids to jump up and down on the spot, while a generous freeway overpass provides backyard shade all-year round.

The challenging front entrance leads to a cosy living room with original communist-inspired fittings, perfect for entertaining. The marvellously appointed kitchen was designed by an ex-merchant navy cook, while right angles have been banned from the two bedrooms – they’re sure to have the kids begging to go to the park!

The bathroom features prison-standard showers, with original bath and sink fittings, tiling and mould.

Located within walking distance to the airport, laundromat, local remand centre and light industrial estates, this house is not one to miss!

Auction: Saturday 14th June. Opening Bid $410,000.

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