Fight Ninjas with Tom Cruise!

Do you have a friend or loved one who has everything, but often wonders out aloud how he or she would respond if a team of Ninjas attacked the house? Yes? Then I have the ultimate experience for you!

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Fight Ninjas with Tom Cruise!

In my movie ‘The Last Samurai’, I paired with generic Asian character actor Ken Wanatabe to defeat a team of house-invading Ninjas sent to kill him.

Have a look at our awesome moves:

How would YOU go defending your house from Ninjas?

Now you have a chance to find out! For just three easy payments of $150, I (Tom Cruise) will help you fight a crack team of six genuine Ninjas who will descend on your home from all angles. Windows – smashed! Roof – gone! Family – lacerations and assorted other knife wounds! This experience is the real deal.

Included in this fantastic package:

1 x sword
6 x Ninjas (pictured below)
1 x Me, Tom Cruise, pumped for action!

A crack team of Ninjas will invade your house - terrifying!

A crack team of Ninjas will invade your house - terrifying!

Customer testimonials

“At first I thought the Ninjas were just some guys wearing black tracksuit pants and gumboots, but Tom was just so damn convincing I couldn’t help but believe.” – Nancy, 36

“I never even heard the Ninjas coming. Tom just stabbed one through a wall and then all hell broke loose. That guy has incredible hearing.” – John, 53

“I’d always felt there was something missing in my life – and now I know that it was the uncertainty of whether I could defend my family from Ninjas. With Tom’s help, I discovered the answer to that question: I’ll miss my family, but I sleep a little easier at night knowing we gave it our best shot.” – Michael, 43

ORDER NOW!!

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4 thoughts on “Fight Ninjas with Tom Cruise!

  1. Guillermo Vibbard says:

    I’ve always thought Tom Cruise was sexy ever since I first saw _Endless Love_ in February 1982! As for whether or not he ever gets back with Nicole, I bet he’s going to be more likely this polygamist and he’ll be married to Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman and me all at the same time!

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