A crazed kangaroo smashed through a bedroom window in Canberra, where a man fought it for eight minutes before finally overcoming it with a headlock, according to The Age newspaper.
The man was called Beat Ettlin, so the story got straight off to a bizarre start.
When he was asked about the incident, he said:
“My initial thought when I was half awake was: it’s a lunatic ninja coming through the window.”
Most people who read this story probably said ‘why the hell did he think of lunatic ninjas? Was a kangaroo not crazy enough?’
But not me. Because I know that Beat has fought ninjas with Tom Cruise! Beat was up, on his toes, ready to fight any crazy mo’ fo’ that might crash through his window. Including crazy roos.
Remember, with ninjas, roos or bushfires the mantra is the same: leave early, or stay and defend. I cannot recommend Tom Cruise’s ninja-busting fight lessons enough.